FINDING FREEDOM by Rusty Thomas

“A human being is part of the whole, called by us “Universe” a part limited in time and space.  He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of consciousness.  This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.  Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” 
- Einstein, The Einstein Papers

The Pawsitive Dog Program has enriched my life in ways I hadn’t expected in the past year since I enrolled.  There are two teachings I have been gifted.  The first and most obvious is the practical dog training methods.  The second teaching, and I think the most meaningful training, is a subtle learning that infuses your whole being.

First, of course, and I will boast, has been the training I have received from a very experienced and qualified staff that I have much gratitude for.  Our staff, with fifty plus years of combined experience, has provided me and the rest of the prison dog handlers with a holistic perspective to dog training. Every Thursday we receive practical and theoretical training in basic dog obedience, dog behavior modification training, puppy training and socialization, instruction on writing treatment plans and protocols for separation anxiety, dog-on-dog aggression and resource guarding.  The staff also empowers us by holding us accountable

to our commitments.

I can go on and on about the instruction I have received.  However, when I mentioned earlier we receive a holistic perspective of dog training, what I mean is that we don’t just learn about a dog’s behavior.  We are taught that our dogs are one of all “living creatures and the whole of nature” as Einstein mentions in his papers.  We are all interconnected and by being aware of this life condition, we get to the root of the psychological and spiritual aspect of problem behavior; not only with our dogs but with our own life-alienating behaviors as well.  Our dogs have the opportunity to be canine citizens and we, offenders, have an opportunity to become better human citizens on this planet we all share.

This canine and human citizenship training is the secondary learning I have received.  It is a special training I wasn’t aware of being part of the offered curriculum.  This special training is something our instructors let us discover on our own as if giving us a very valuable map that will guide us on our journey to a treasure by giving us a dog.

I set out thinking I’m going to teach the dog, and this four-pawed smiling creature gently teaches me to escape from the mental, emotional and spiritual prison we all seem to live in one capacity or another.  The dogs and I seem to have a symbiotic relationship in citizenship training.

I have been taught to observe the dog’s behavior and emotional content.  This practice of observation has assisted me in cultivating awareness within myself.  For example, when I was given my first dog to train, I would become so frustrated while walking this Beagle breed.  He would stick his nose to the ground and take off dragging me behind as I was yanking his leash.  My leash hand would be looking like I was trying to start an old lawn mower rather than walking a dog.  Then I would stop and recall our instruction of stop and act like a tree.  The best learning I received from this experience is self-observation.  What was I physically doing?  I was pulling which created resistance.  How was I feeling?  I was feeling frustrated and helpless, which was being transferred to my dog.  What was I thinking?  “What a stupid dog” – “Damn, I don’t know what I’m doing.” 

I had to learn that I had a habit behavior of yanking on the leash.  Once it was in my awareness, I thought how many other habits do I have that I’m unaware of?  It was a beginning of citizenship training from my dog.  It was as important to know my own thinking, feeling and behaviors, as it is to know the dog’s.

In addition, the dogs were tugging at my heart.  This deep feeling of love and compassion I felt was throwing me out of balance.  Being in this physical prison, there isn’t much focus on emotion, although we all feel it.  Whether pleasant or unpleasant, we try to hide it or become numb to it, or only act on the anger.  I suspect holding our feelings in or medicating unpleasant feelings is how we found ourselves here.  I know it is true for me.  Yet here is this dog, loving me, teaching, playing, and helping me release my pain of heart.

I recall a line from the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” that I’ll paraphrase – sometimes when one loses balance for love, one sometimes gains balance for life.  When I’m interacting with the dogs, I feel a sense of softness, a silkiness of joy and happiness that I have rarely felt.  What I mean is the quality of happiness and joy.  Most of us feel happy and joyful at different times when one of our immediate needs or values are met by someone in our life.  Yet, to me, that quality of happiness is not the same as this in-the-moment love I have when playing with the dogs.  It is like a feather tickling my heart and sifting out every happy molecule in my body.  Yes, in this moment, I lose balance for love.

I ask myself, “How can I cultivate this same feeling with my own species?”  I see the dogs loosening the shackles of fear that keep me from feeling.  When I feel and let it cut deep, whether pleasant or unpleasant, without trying to hide it, fade it, or fix it, I feel most alive and free.  I feel as I do when playing with the dogs; a sense of openness, spaciousness, and interconnectedness. 

Therefore, I agree unequivocally that our task in citizenship is to “free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”  Thank you, my dog friends, for mapping me back to my heart.